take a deep breath

Take a deep breath, and breathe.

That’s the mantra everyone encourages, right? Everything will be okay, if you breath. Sometimes, it’s easy to forget to breath. You could simply be auditioning for a play or simply doing yoga. It could be anything. You get caught up in the moment, worrying about managing to finish and how you’ll look doing it. Did you dare stutter over a word in front of those judgemental eyes? Did you fall while doing yoga?

It’s actually okay if you did, or if you didn’t. All that matters that you breath. I forget breath all the time. I can be in the middle of yoga, and the instructor announces, “Take a deep breath and exhale through your mouth.”

I’ll start to become conscious of every time I fill my lungs. Eventually, I’ll completely forget I even took notice of something as mundane as breathing. Whatever happens during a day and you reprimand yourself like a woman from Elizabeth Bennet’s life, just know it is okay. Remember, you’ll soon forget it even happened or existed.

It’s hard to forget though. It’s human nature to attach to things and clench fingers tightly when others threaten it; the it could be anything. It could be something precious and dear to someone, or it could be something absolutely embarrassing you don’t dare let anyone know.

You lay in your bed and wonder why doesn’t -insert name here- ever do anything awful. It’s okay to not be that clever person everyone finds absolutely charming. It’s hard not to notice them when they smile, or even when they’re just doing homework. To you, it seems like they can do no wrong, because they’re your best friend. Those embarrassing things you don’t let anyone know? Your best friend knows everything, far past the surface of your personality. Only it’s hard to breath when you lost your best friend.

You wish your best friend was standing beside you on everything. You’ve tried with them. You wanted to work on things, but they claim your relationship is in the past and too far gone. You can only fight so much for someone who doesn’t want you, so you sit down your dagger. You’re finished fighting against the monsters to reach your best friend. You deserve to be fought for.

It’s okay if breathing alone is hard. You’ll be okay no matter what happens. Eventually, you will.

Love,

E. E.

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