and the bells are ringing out

I was in the car with one of my best friend’s on Friday. We were having an amazingly rad car karaoke sessions. Our latest favorite is Sweet Dreams are Made of a Seven Nation Army. Clearly it is a mashup of two wonderful songs, and my friend and I agreed this is our favorite mashup (that we have found).

Anyways, we started talking about who would walk us down the aisle. Not just anyone can walk a bride down the aisle. It’s one of the biggest questions in “bride-dom.” I wanted my uncle to walk me down the aisle. He was one of the greatest men I have ever been graced to meet and love. He is why I have such high expectations of love. I’ve watched the way he was with my aunt, and I wish for that and so much more.

It was a great plan; my uncle would walk me down the aisle when I get married. It was at least until my darling uncle died of stage four brain cancer. He fought an awful battle, one that I cannot fathom being involved in. He made it through chemotherapy, but he didn’t survive the battlefield.

My friend said if her dad died before her wedding, there were a couple of people she would ask. Her dad suggested her cousin or her brother, but she can’t see herself doing that. Instead, it would be one of our friends or her dad’s army buddies. Either of the choices would be really special for her, and I know it’ll be perfect whichever way she chose.

I was having a hard time saying who would walk me. I joked and said I’d go alone, but she said I deserved having someone walk me. Ordinarily, like my sister, my father would walk me. I cannot picture myself walking with him. So much has happened between us and my mom. I don’t want him to walk me. He doesn’t know anything about me. My sister doesn’t understand. She was out of the house when our parents got divorced and everything happened.

I can’t imagine anyone walking me down the aisle but my mom. I’ve had so many experiences with my mom. She’s the perfect one to walk me down that aisle.

 

Love,

E. E.

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